Changes

Time marches on, and things change. I had a conversation with J tonight, his life is moving forward. And my response to his news was a smile, and to be happy for him. I didn’t feel any hurt. I didn’t feel any pain. I was genuinely glad for him.

And my non response made me glad for myself. I really have let go of some things I didn’t need to be holding on to. I will always have more than friendship feelings for him, but I can deal with those.

I’m glad he found her. She has made such a big difference in his life. When I first started talking to him, he was rather dark and twisty. Now, you can tell his attitude has changed. He is happy. And that makes me smile.

I never would have guessed that this young guy I started talking to online would have an effect on my life. I never would have imagined that I would influence his life in any way. But we both needed the other for different reasons.

He makes me mad at times, and I really want to punch him when that happens. But he also makes me laugh, and cheers me up when I need it. We have a unique friendship, and I hope we can keep that. I’m having one of those weird “feels” moments. I am happy for him, but I’m crying too. Not sobbing, I’m not sad. Just the tears running down the face because of strong emotions.

Life is weird, and unpredictable. It’s a journey on a road filled with twists and turns. Sometimes something so unexpected happens, you have to take a long time to process it. Two years ago, I met a guy on Twitter. I didn’t have a clue that he would change my life, but he did. I didn’t know that I would change his either. We have both changed because of the other, and I think it’s been for the better. So…his life is changing. Our friendship is changing yet again. But I can say I’m happy for him. And that I’ll be there if he needs me. And I really am glad that we are getting back to the friendship we started out with.