I hate labels. All they do is stick is us in boxes. Sometimes people overlap, they don’t fit neatly.
On Twitter, I was saying how bisexual people aren’t very welcome at Pride events, especially if they’re in a heterosexual relationship. I got lectured, saying that I’m not in a heterosexual relationship because I’m bi. I snapped. I said whatever you call it, I’m married to a man. I was told that I should call it an opposite sex relationship. How about I just call it my marriage?
I am fat. You can try to make it sound less harsh by calling it fluffy, plus sized, queen sized or whatever. But the fact is, I am large. I am fat. It’s a descriptive word that I don’t take offense to. I had someone actually get upset because I called myself fat. Really? It actually amuses me when people throw the word fat at me like it’s an insult. Oh wow… I didn’t know that until you felt the need to tell me. Geez.
I am bisexual. The fact that I’ve never been in a relationship with a female, or had sex with one does not change that fact. That I have been married to a man for 21 years does not change that fact. I am not straight. I never have been. I thought I was for 46 years, but I was just really good at burying, and ignoring feelings/facts.
I am not gay/lesbian. I am attracted to women, but I am also attracted to men. It has been that way my entire life. It was never a choice. I am not on the fence about being maybe being a lesbian. I like both.
I do not call myself queer. I know that maybe bisexual women identify that way, but I don’t. I am bisexual.
I have only been out since January of 2014. I am still learning. My own labels change with time. The first time I actually understood that I wasn’t straight hit me hard. I cried. I realized then how homophobia could effect my life. That some people wanted me dead just because of the way God made me.
I am a Christian. But I am not religious. I don’t believe that “churches” practice what Jesus told us to do. You can’t condemn people to hell because they are different.
There is one label that I am proud to carry, survivor. I have survived natural disasters. I have survived sexual assault, and harassment. I have survived my own body trying to kill me.
You can slap any label you want to on me. They define you more than they define me. The only thing I’m concerned about is being a good human being. My race doesn’t define me, my size doesn’t define me, and my sexuality certainly does not define me.
I am a good person who has done some bad things. I am not perfect, and I don’t pretend to be. I am a wife, but not necessarily a good one. I make mistakes. I do stupid things. I am a person.
Bellaelena 