Me

I make people nervous. I make people upset. I irritate people because I refuse to stay in the box they want me to be in. I am me. I make no apologies for that.

I am fat. I’m not plus sized, queen sized, or fluffy. I am fat. I don’t care if it bothers other people that I label myself that. It is what it is. No pretty words are going to change that fact. And don’t look down on me, or pity me. My fat ass gets plenty of action. Believe it or not, I do not have a problem getting offers for sex.

I am sexually active. I like to talk about sex. Some people have a problem with both of those. I am a married adult who enjoys it. I don’t care if someone thinks I need to keep my mouth shut about it. No one says they have to read anything I write.

I have a history, and yes, I do occasionally mention it. Just because I talk about sex does not mean I am soliciting it. It does not mean I want to have sexual conversations with strangers.

I am a Christian. I am not religious. I don’t attend church. But I have my faith. I don’t have to defend that to atheists. You believe, or don’t believe, what you chose to. Do not attack me because you have nothing.

I am married, and have been for 21 years. I have a monogamous relationship with my husband. I have not slept around, and I won’t. I have done some things that some people (including myself) consider cheating, but I have not physically done it.

I am bisexual. It took me 46 years to acknowledge, and accept that fact. It is not a phase. Just because I have not been with a woman does not change the fact that I’m bi. I am not confused, or indecisive. I am attracted to males, and females. And that does not mean I want to have threesomes.

I fell in love with another man while already in love with my husband. It doesn’t seem possible, but it happened. It was not something I wanted, or went looking for. It literally just happened when a friendship changed into something more. It is not an easy thing to deal with. I will always love my friend, but I am doing my best to not be in love with him.

I repeat myself, a lot. I’ve said all this before. I’m just kind of angry. People try to change me into someone they think I should be. I shouldn’t like the color, red. I shouldn’t talk about sex so much. I shouldn’t enjoy sex. I shouldn’t talk about being bisexual, because they think I do it for attention.

I have an awesome husband. He has always accepted me for who I am. I sprang the fact that I’m bisexual on him without any warning. He thought it was a phase. He is trying to learn about it, and he still loves me. He knows about the other guy I fell for. He obviously hates that, but he’s letting me work through it. He knows that eventually, the feelings will fade.

I have a rather boring life spiced up with some weird things. I had a stalker. I had a man obsessed with me. I was questioned in a murder. I’ve had some run ins with some online sociopaths. I fell in love online. I love two men, one is white and ten years older. The other is black, and 18 years younger. Yeah, I don’t have a type. I fall for a person’s personality, not their race, looks or gender even.

My favorite type of music is Christian rock. But I like a little bit everything. When my ipod is on shuffle, I get some interesting combinations of music.

I’m a Christian, but I can cuss you out in three languages. Tick me off, and you’ll see that is true. Like the saying goes, I’m not perfect, just forgiven.

I don’t have a conflict being Christian, and being bisexual. God made me this way, he must be ok with it. I couldn’t change it, even though I wish I could at times.

I have lost “friends” because I came out as bi. I figure if they have a problem with me being me, then I don’t need them in my life to begin with.

I don’t hit on people. I might be attracted to someone, but I don’t approach them. I already have more than enough to deal with. I do find it kind of funny/interesting that my husband and I are both attracted to the same kinds of women.

I used to love to read books. I could finish a paperback in a matter of hours. Since I’ve gotten on Twitter, my attention span is almost nonexistent. I don’t read nearly as much as I used to. I like romances, but I need to see if I can find some lesbian ones.

Accepting that I’m bisexual has been a weird experience. When it first hit me that being bi meant I wasn’t straight, it was a shock. Seems so obvious, but until that second, I just considered myself a woman who was straight, but got turned on by women too. I’m not straight. I’m not gay. I’m bisexual. It takes some getting used to. A year later, and I’m still trying to deal with it.

I’m 47 years old, and I still have no clue what my purpose in life is. I will probably never know. I just try to be a good person, and do as little harm as possible.

I get bored easily. And that’s why I tend to get on here and talk about myself excessively. I used to get suspended from Twitter direct messages all the time, but hardly anyone speaks to me anymore.

I apparently hit the update button too soon. Oh well, I should shut up already. This is just me being bored, and trying to stay out of trouble. If you lasted this long, thanks for sticking around. ☺