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Hope

For the first time in many months, our bills are caught up, our pantry is stocked, and I have hope again. 2016 was not a good year. I got fired, bills piled up, I lost 45 pounds because I was barely eating (ok, maybe that part wasn’t bad) and I thought about suicide, way too many times.

I’ve been working since right before Christmas. Things still aren’t wonderful, but they’re better. Going back to work was difficult. I had back spasms, and it hurt to even move sometimes. Working all night, and sleeping during the day was an adjustment. And trying to learn how to fill, and finish doughnuts is not as easy as you would think it is.

But, we have money coming in to pay the bills. I’m not worrying about if we will have electricity, heat or food. I even got my cell phone working again.

Times were rough. A friend helped us with a loan. $250 might not seem like alot of money to some people, but it meant a great deal to us. I will be forever grateful to him for that.

Life has its ups and downs. For a while, it seemed like everything was down. But things are looking up again. Is it weird to say that my Miami Dolphins making the playoffs actually gave me a reason to hang on, and not kill myself?

Although I thought of suicide, I’m not actually suicidal. I couldn’t do harm to myself. It just seemed like I was stuck in a pit of darkness, and I couldn’t see a way out. I found a way. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s better than the alternative.

Hope is such a big thing. It makes positive things possible. Having faith to hold on in the face of darkness means everything. If you can, do whatever you can to bring hope. You could literally save a person with your kindness.

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