Let’s talk about sex

Let’s talk about sex. Yeah, right. Sex used to be one of my favorite topics. I’ve been sexually active since 1990. I’ve had 8 partners if you count blow jobs (college boyfriend) and the lesbian I fingered, and made squirt.

I was 23 when I lost my virginity. Why do they call it losing your virginity? I didn’t lose it, I know where it went. Except, do you consider penetration, or actual intercourse to be “losing it”? Or is giving oral sex to a man “losing it”? My answer to when I lost it would vary on the definition of being deflowered.

The term deflowered just made me laugh. In elementary school, I knew a girl with a Filipino grandmother, and her term for vagina was a flower. So maybe that makes sense.

I chose to wait to have sex. I could have had it as young as 8. I had grown men hitting on me at 11. I was very religious when I was young. I wanted to wait until I was married, even though I never expected to get married. I think the that because I was bisexual, and didn’t know/accept it, also played a part in waiting. I finally decided to do it at 23 because I was being stalked, and had a real fear of being raped.

I gave my first blow job in college. I consider oral to be a sexual act, but not sex. So I still considered myself to be a virgin. I still consider myself to a virgin when it comes to female sex. I did make a woman cum by playing with her, but I wasn’t touched. Again, it was a sexual act, but not sex to me.

Anyway, I’ve been married for 23 years now. We’ve had lots of sex over the years. Maybe it is considered “vanilla” sex, but it’s intercourse. I have talked to so many people over the years about sex. It’s interesting to me the difference in attitudes between older, and younger people. The younger generations were exposed to porn on the internet. They seem to think that every woman should be bare, and that things like “eating ass” (formerly known as rim jobs) are normal and expected. The older men seem to love when a woman has a bush. Maybe because their porn came from magazines when women didn’t shave.

The internet has made it easier talking about sex. I’ve learned things I never wanted to know. I’ve learned about porn. I’ve learned that my body can do things I never would have imagined. I didn’t know that squirting was a real thing until 2013. I was very surprised to discover that I could do it. I was even more shocked when I made another woman do it. It is like physical proof of a job well done.

I’ve talked to a few women about sex. They seem to prefer a woman to be bare for obvious reasons. I’ve sexted a few women. I find it kind of amusing that I could make a woman orgasm talking about something I’ve never experienced in real life. But, I have a good imagination.

So, I talk about sex. Yes, that’s led to sexting or phone sex. That’s nothing something to be proud of, but it’s happened. Maybe it’s weird, but I like knowing that I made someone lose control.

Yes, I talk about sex. And, no, that doesn’t mean that I want to get sexual with the person I’m talking to. There is a difference between a conversation, and sexting. But some people can’t see that distinction.

Sometimes I just tell a story. Like, imagine you’re here, and this happens… I am just the narrator. I’m not emotionally invested in the outcome. But they get off on it.

It’s strange, but when I hit 46, my sexuality went into overdrive. I had some pretty bad behavior, but only online and on the phone. I have only had sex with my husband in 24 years. Three and a half years later, thing have settled down. I don’t have the compulsion/addiction I had then. And that’s a relief.

I still talk about sex. Apps like Whisper make it so easy. I don’t even have to post anything sexual, they just show up. Sometimes I do post something suggestive because I’m bored, and want a conversation. I do find it kind of annoying that I mention my husband, and still have someone hitting on me.

I talk about sex. I’m a boring person, but that is one subject people like to talk about. Yes, I have gotten people off. And I’ve gotten myself off too. It is what it is. But I know one thing, some people are more interesting than others when it comes to those conversations. Some people have a way with words, others just don’t. Sometimes I think about the people, and wonder how many I’ve gotten turned on, and gotten off. No, it isn’t proper behavior, but who said we have to play by the rules?


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