A mouthful

Oral sex, most of us want it, and some of us get it. I love giving it. I like feeling his cock get hard in my mouth. I like hearing the sounds he makes. I like feeling his body respond to my mouth on him. It actually arouses me.

I don’t receive it. For most of my life, I thought I didn’t want to be on the receiving end. That changed three years ago. Weird story made very short, I fell in love with a guy online. Our conversations became sexual after feelings were revealed. Some of those conversations revolved around oral sex. I had to finally admit to myself that I wanted to be on the receiving end. And also that I wanted it from a woman.

Fast forward three years, I still haven’t experienced it. I probably never will. My husband won’t do it for whatever reasons. The likelihood of me finding a willing female is slim to none.

So I don’t know what it is like. I’ve never had an orgasm from it. I actually get offered it. I’ve had several offers. But I can’t accept them. I can’t cheat on my husband. Is it tempting? Hell, yes it is.

I enjoy sex. My husband enjoys sex. But, unlike the younger generations, he didn’t grow up with the internet, and easily viewed porn. Giving cunnilingus wasn’t so common. Most women expect it now. (We won’t even go into eating ass. Nope. Not at all)

Maybe part of my obsession with wanting a girlfriend was so that I could experience receiving oral. I want to be with a woman for many reasons, but oral sex is one of the main ones. But I’m afraid of it. I have no idea what to do, or even how to be relaxed enough to enjoy it.

I’m 49 years old, it feels like the opportunity has passed me by. I don’t know if I will ever get the chance. Oral sex is something I think about. I get frustrated because it’s something I want, but I can’t have. So, I get my mouthful, but I don’t get to be someone else’s. Sometimes life is the pits.




4 thoughts on “A mouthful

  1. I don’t know why some men are like that. I love giving oral!!! That sucks (no pun intended, lol.) that he won’t go down on you. I believe you’ll find a woman though. I’m constantly finding stories of women, in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s who were otherwise straight, ending up in relationships with women later in life. I just read how the author of “Eat Pray Love” left her husband, -the person she wrote the book about, to be with a woman. Any more it seems more and more women are leaving men to be with women, later in life.


    • But I don’t want to leave my husband, he is my soul mate. I would just like a woman too. Maybe that is greedy, but I can’t help how I feel. One day I might meet a woman who only wants a FWB arrangement. It isn’t likely, but I’ve learned that anything is possible.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s