Three years worth of angst over loving a guy 18 years younger than me. About me finally accepting that I’m bisexual. About me falling in love with a woman. About me admitting that I wanted a woman, but could never experience that. About me dating a lesbian, and making her squirt. I learned to not say never.
My journal was filled with thoughts about J. I loved him, but I always knew there was never meant to be an “us”. I felt that it happened as a way to get him ready for his person. I was right about that. He met her a few months later.
J was in my life to help me accept that I’m bisexual. He also helped me get to a point where I could accept loving a woman.
My first journal started in February of 1986. Thirty years ago. It’s so hard to believe. I was in college. So innocent back then.
I’m currently on my tenth book. So much of what happened, I don’t even remember. Hard to believe I was ever so young.
My life has been strange. I’ve had bizarre experiences. I’ve seen spirits. I was questioned in a murder. I’ve had premonitions. I’ve had a stalker. I’ve been sexually assaulted. I had an affair (I was single) I’ve been in love with more than one person at the same time.
My life is long stretches of boring broken up with the bizarre. I’ve been very blessed in some ways, but cursed in other ways.
It’s strange to see my thoughts from those times. I’m not the person I used to be. I still have no clue what my purpose in life is, but I’ve touched so many people along the way. Good or bad, I am just me.