For the past several months, I have been reading the Outlander series. It’s about an English woman from 1945 going back in time to the Scottish Highlands of 1744. She is forced to marry Jamie Fraser. She tells him where she is from, and convinces him to her help stop the Jacobite rebellion.

I’ve wondered about time travel before. I like the movie, The Final Countdown. It’s about the U.S. Navy aircraft carrier, Nimitz going back to pre Pearl Harbor attack Pacific Ocean. Technically it’s an American ship, but it’s from the future. Are they required to try to stop the attack, or lets history proceed? If they attack first, what ramifications would it have? Because they would be starting the war then.

Then there is the movie, Time After Time, about the author, H.G. Wells traveling to modern (1970s) San Francisco to chase Jack the Ripper. What effects would going forward in time have?

So many times I wondered, what would have happened if I had never gotten on Twitter. Just the fact that I got on it at all changed my life. The fact that I fell in love with two people from it hit me like a ton of bricks. If I hadn’t met J, would I have ever accepted that I was bisexual. If I hadn’t met him, and hadn’t come out, would I have ever even talked to T. She had tweeted at me several times in the year before, but I had no idea she was a female.

Me being on Twitter changed other lives too. People went to the Miami Dolphins/NY Jets game at MetLife because of me talking about it. Talking to one girl helped her not commit suicide.

I would hope I never went back in time. I have a big mouth, and I would do my best to change things. And thing is, even if you change one small thing, it has so many other ramifications. Because every action has a ripple effect. Like if I went back in time to when I was young the knowledge that I was bisexual, would I act on it? Would I try to meet T back then? It bothers me to know that T was literally right across the street from me in Miami.

Would I have any right to change anything? Because if I did anything differently, I wouldn’t have met my husband. I honestly can’t imagine living without him. If I had approached T, would she have been interested in me? Could we have made a life together?

I wonder about pointless things. I couldn’t survive 200+ years in the past. I like my modern conveniences, and medicines. The thing is, I do wonder. I know I love T, but would I have loved her in my early 20s? I’m not the same person I was then.

Yes, I have too much time on hands. I wonder about things that can’t be changed. Sometimes I wish I had never gotten online. I wish I didn’t know the things I know now. I wish I was still in ignorance about being bisexual. It had caused so much grief.

But I have changed lives by being me. Do I have the right to wish their lives to be different? I have no idea what my point is here. I have just had my mind filled with time travelers. I will always wonder how things could have been different, if I had made other choices. But, I will never know.



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