There is a good chance that in a few days, I might actually have achieved what I thought was impossible. I might have a girlfriend. And by doing that, I will simultaneously have a husband, and a girlfriend.
I am well aware that I will be judged for this. But it’s my life. As long as my husband can deal with it, and she’s ok with it, no one else’s opinion is important.
What is important, is that I love my husband. I am not dissatisfied with him. He’s not a woman, and I want to experience being with one.
I’m not going to lie, and pretend that the possibility of sex isn’t a draw here. That is part of the attraction. But I like what I have learned about her. I would be happy just being friends.
When I married David 22 years ago, I meant my vow of forsaking all others. But I am not the same person I was 22 years ago. I finally accepted that I’m bisexual. And I just want the opportunity to explore.
I want a relationship with a female. I don’t want random hook ups. I don’t want just sex. I want the silly, sappy stuff like just cuddling.
Not everyone can understand the idea of an open marriage, or a polyamorous relationship. I know that I can love more than one person. I have so much love to give. If we can make it work, it could be pretty awesome.
There are so many factors in play here. The most important one is chemistry. But logistics will matter. Our spouses will matter. What doesn’t matter is the opinions of people not involved.
You can think I’m immoral. You can think I’m cheating. You can think anything you want to think. Those thoughts do not matter to me. I am not unhappy with my husband. I just think I could be happier with her companionship.
Life can either feel like a prison, or it can feel like an adventure. I am not going to shackle myself because someone might think I’m doing something bad.
It is my life. I take my husband’s feelings into consideration. I take her feelings into consideration. I don’t know what will happen. It could be something incredible. And why should I deny myself that because someone disapproves?