I’m in one of those moods where I want to write, but I don’t have a topic. So many things are going on, but I’m not sure if I should talk about them, or if I even want to.
I do know that 2016 is already different. My life is changing. I took a chance, and answered a Craigslist personal ad. I did that once before, and went out with her a few times. I had my first sexual experience with a female with her. But there was no chemistry. I wasn’t sorry when she was no longer in my life.
I got a response to my email, and we’ve been messaging since then. I really like her, and we’re supposed to meet on Tuesday. I am simultaneously both excited, and scared. What if she doesn’t like me? What if she does? Can we make the 40 mile distance between us work?
I tend to over think everything. I need to just relax, and let whatever happens, happen. If we click in person, great. Or maybe we just click as friends. To be honest, I never thought I’d get to this point. But life is full of surprises.
A year ago, the idea of even going on a date with a woman seemed impossible. But, things have changed. My husband has given me the okay to try. He isn’t happy about it, but he wants me to be happy.
She asked me what I wanted out of it. I said I wanted a connection that was both mental, and physical. I want to learn what it’s like to be close to another female. I want the hand holding, kissing and making out.
I want the sex too. I want to caress soft skin. I want to play with breasts. I want to turn her on, and make her orgasm. Is that possible? I don’t know. I hope so. It all depends on the chemistry.
I’m going to have to conquer my self esteem issues. It’s funny, I know that I can arouse men without any problem, but I’m not sure about a woman. Well, I did get Misty to orgasm and squirt, but she said that it had been a long time for her.
I need to just quit thinking about it. But then again, I did think about it, and got turned on. I’m happy that I’m going to meet her, and terrified too. I really am a mess.
What am I getting myself into? This is all so foreign to me. I think it is for her too. We’re both married, and bisexual. I only have one experience to draw on, but at least I was successful that one time.
Well, I have something to look forward to. If nothing else, I can have a friend I like to talk to. Or maybe a girlfriend I can do more than talking to. I just have to wait, and see.