Back off!

Have you ever had someone tell you that they had feelings for the same person you do? That happened to me, and I wanted to punch her in the face. Keep in mind, I have no right to be jealous. I have no claim on the person. But my mind was screaming, “I knew her first!”

I wanted to pick a fight. I wanted to stake a claim. And that’s beyond stupid. I have no right to. That was honestly an unexpected response from me. I wanted to say she was mine, and to back off. She isn’t mine though. She belongs to her soul mate.

I did ask the person if she knew that T was married, and happy with her wife. Honestly, my feelings are inappropriate, because I’m married, and so is she. But damn it, I did know her longer.

So, it turns out I’m still in love with her. And I feel like I have a claim to her attention. I don’t, but that isn’t what my heart is saying. I want to claim her. I wish I could tell the world she’s mine. That is the gut reaction I have. She isn’t mine though. She’s a friend that I got attached to.

But still, I really wanted to tell the third woman to back off. Because if I can’t have T, she sure as hell can’t have her either. But as a little balm to my battered soul, I know if T’s wife wasn’t in the picture, I’d have a much better chance of being her choice.

I do know I’m being silly. I am not jealous of T’s wife, because I know she loves her & she is T’s soul mate. I am protective of T, and I don’t want the third woman going after her. I don’t have a claim to her, but I would do anything I could to make sure she’s happy.

I really am ridiculous. That would never happen. But it’s more likely than the other woman getting a shot. How funny that I’m feeling jealous of the attention she is getting from someone else. Maybe it isn’t jealousy, but I feel more protective than anything. She is not mine, but I would fight for her if I had to. Because I do love her, I would fight to make sure she is happy.

The funny thing is, I know I would literally not stand a chance against the third woman in real life. She could literally take me out in a heart beat. But I have something she doesn’t. I know T cares about me too, even if it is just as a friend. And that means everything to me.


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