A few weeks after marriage equality was made legal by the U.S. Supreme Court, I got a direct message on Facebook from my former college roommate. She said that I seemed to be taking people’s negative responses to it personally. Well, of course I was. I’m bisexual, it does effect me personally. I am married to a man, and have been for almost 22 years. But that doesn’t change the fact if my life circumstances change, I’d like to know that I could marry the person I love, regardless of their sex.
I’m not gay. I don’t call it gay marriage. Because bisexuals can fall in love with same sex people as well as the traditional opposite sex ones. My marriage might be called “normal”, but I am not.
Before I acknowledged that I was bisexual, I never really understood the harsh reality of not being heterosexual. I didn’t know that people were killed for not being straight. That people would hate me for being bisexual. That people I had known, and respected for years were actually bigots.
And the sad thing is, they don’t even realize that they are bigots. They think they have the right to be superior, and deny other people their equal rights. They think they have the right to judge me.
I try not to take it too personally. Some people have a very narrow view of the world. I am going to love who I love. I am going to be me. I was happy when marriage became legal for everyone. I have friends who want that protection under the law. They want their partners to be able to share benefits. They want to be able to adopt.
I feel sorry for people who have blinders on. They can’t see what is around them. But I am going to continue to do what I think is right. I will continue posting things I hope will open their eyes. I am normal. There are more of us out there than they realize.
I just contradicted myself. I said I wasn’t normal, than I said I was. Maybe I’m not “normal”, but I’m far from unusual. Most people don’t come out as bi, because they’re in an opposite sex relationship. They don’t want the stigma that comes attached to being anything other than heterosexual.
I am married to my soul mate, who just happens to be a male. But I have fallen in love with a woman, so I also know that anything is possible. I’m happy that everyone now has the right to marry, at least in the U.S.
I did take the negativity about marriage equality personally. Who are they to deny me equal rights because some book tells them that I’m not an equal person? Just because I’m already married doesn’t mean that I don’t care.