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Love is…my husband

Love should feel like coming home. It should be comfortable. It should make you feel safe. Love should not feel like being on a roller coaster. It shouldn’t make you feel like your stomach is in your throat.

Roller coasters can be fun, but who wants to live on one? Love shouldn’t be about drama. Love is knowing that your partner always has your back. It should be about being able to trust them with your life.

I’ve been very fortunate. My first love is also my last love. I’ve never had my heart broken. I knew on our first date that we would be together for a long time.

Our 22nd anniversary is in December. We had some rough patches. I wasn’t sure we’d make it past 20 years together. But my husband wasn’t willing to give up easily. I never wanted to leave him, and I never stopped loving him. But I did get side tracked by someone else. I had a friendship turn into something more.

If anyone ever says that you can’t fall in love with someone without meeting them, that isn’t true at all. To me, words mean more than appearance, or physical attraction. But in all honestly, you can’t maintain a relationship for long that way.

I haven’t met him in person, and I probably never will. He would never put the effort into meeting. And now, I know that was a blessing. It prevented me from doing the one thing guaranteed to ruin my marriage.

My feelings have changed. I’m not in love with him anymore. We are back to being only friends, casual ones at that. And that’s a good thing. I don’t need the added distractions. And he doesn’t need to be dealing with me either.

It’s kind of ironic, but me getting side tracked taught me the value of what I already had. I’ve always loved, and respected my husband, but I sort of took him for granted. But I learned just how rare, and valuable his love for me is. I learned what true love is. I see love in action, and not just empty words spoken.

I am blessed. I have this wonderfully funny, caring and loving man as my husband. ☺ He says he doesn’t deserve me. I tell him doesn’t deserve me, he deserves better. But I am so happy that he loves me.

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