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Married sex, and marriage

You know you’re getting old when ordinary sex throws your back out. Well, ok, we did go to an NFL game on Sunday (and watched the Dolphins beat the Redskins) and we did a massive amount of walking that day.

We had sex yesterday too. Two days in a row is kind of unusual for us anymore. Three times a week is our max. More than that, and we have problems.

I’m not sure what’s gotten into my husband, but I like it. It reminds me of our newlywed days. We used to average once a day back then. But that was 21 years ago.

I think that because I have finally rid myself of the emotions I was carrying for 2 years, things have gotten better between us. He’s no longer comparing himself to someone else. He’s not afraid I’m going to decide to leave him. (That was never an option) My attention is focused on him again. And that’s the way it should be.

What happened was supposed to happen. I will never have a doubt about that. I needed it to reach the place I needed to be in my life. Unfortunately, my husband was hurt by it. And our marriage suffered because of it. But now, I think our marriage is stronger because of it. I learned exactly what I had to lose. I learned how much my husband means to me. And I learned how much our marriage means to me.

I like having sex. I can’t do it as often as we used, and I can’t do some of things we used to do. But I still enjoy it. We have learned to adapt, and try other things. In almost 23 years of being together, I have rarely ever said no to sex. If I did, it was because I couldn’t do it.

I have never used withholding sex as a weapon. Why deny myself something that I want? And I usually want it. But I will admit to using it as a bribe. Lol

I’m 48, and my husband will be 58 soon. We aren’t young anymore, and we aren’t newlyweds anymore. But we still have fun. As part of our premarital counseling, sex was talked about. It’s something you should share as a couple, and it’s not to be used as a weapon. That piece of advice has always stayed with me.

People grow old, and our bodies change. You literally can’t do all the things you were once able to do. But that doesn’t mean you should give up. It just means you learn new ways of doing things. Sometimes it means concentrating more on your partner’s pleasure, and not your own. Be considerate. Try to find a balance. Maybe one day it’s about them, and you take a back seat to that.

Sex is fun, and unless there are physical problems, there is no reason to stop having that kind of fun. The skin on skin contact is actually beneficial to people. Orgasms release endorphins. Don’t let life take that fun away from you.

I left work early tonight because I was having back spasms. We had sex two days in a row. I probably should have said no today, but I didn’t want to. Sex is fun. People try to make it dirty, and say it’s disgusting. Hell, no it isn’t (unless you’re into that kind of stuff). If God didn’t want us to enjoy it, he would have made reproducing something simple, like exchanging ear wax.

So, anyway, do whatever it is that turns you both on. Do whatever you’re capable of doing. Try new things. If you’re lucky, you get to grow older. But being older doesn’t mean you have to stop having fun. Go buy some massage oil, get some sexy lingerie, try a new lube (Astroglide is actually pretty awesome) Find new things that turn you on. You might as well enjoy the body you were given. And on that note, leave the lights on. Men are visual creatures, and like to see. No one cares about your extra weight or stretch marks. He’s looking at your face. or ass. Lol

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