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Dating

On the Moovz app, I posted that I had a date yesterday. Early this morning, someone asked me how I was getting dates, and she couldn’t. She happens to be a very pretty lesbian in her 20s.

I told her that I replied to a Craigslist ad, and I asked Misty out. I’m not a very bold person, so doing either of things is not typical of me. (Although I had success when I asked my husband out 22 years ago.)

There was something about Misty’s attitude that struck me. I only replied with the intention of finding someone that maybe I could hang out with, and do things that David doesn’t want to do with me. We’ve been out three times.

I probably wouldn’t even call them dates if things hadn’t gotten sexual on the second time we met. But anyway, we had a very short lunch yesterday. If that was a date, it sucked. We were supposed to meet at 11, and she was 15 minutes late. I didn’t know she had to be at work at noon. So, at 11:45, she just left with a, “I gotta bounce”. Ugh.

I don’t have any idea of what’s going on, or what will happen. She sends mixed signals. I know she isn’t interested in a relationship, but she’s the one who made it sexual. Yes, I would like that to continue, but I don’t know if it will. And I don’t even know how to ask if it will.

I am really starting to sympathize with all the singles out there. How do you approach someone? Do you wait til they flirt, or smile at you? Do you take a chance, and text first? Do you try a second time?

I’m beginning to wonder why I’m bothering. But, honestly, she’s been good for me. Just being with her makes me leave my comfort zone. I like her, in spite of being late constantly. And yeah, the possibility of sex is a draw. I’m not going to lie. I didn’t expect that in the beginning, but now, it’s a “who knows?” type of situation.

I’m 48, and I think I’m dating a woman. How bizarre is that? These last two years have proven that I’m not old yet. And I still have more adventures ahead of me. I don’t know how to proceed with her. I’m winging everything. I’m learning as I go. But I have learned that if you don’t ask, the answer is always no.

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12 thoughts on “Dating

  1. How do you ask about that? You just kinda ask and, if it were me, I start by telling her that I had so much fun with her “that time” and would like to know if she’d be interested in doing it again. You don’t have to get graphic about it… but you also have to learn that if you want something, ask for it; if they say no for some reason, okay, that sucks… but clearly, my friend, if you don’t ask, you will never know.

    Some people are loathe to ask because they feel they’re being pushy, being overly eager, and other “slutty” things and because we are made to feel bad about asking for sex, some find it’s better to keep quiet… but if they do, they start ranting and raving about needing the sex and not being able to get it. Or they’ll opt to sit back and see if the object of their sexual desires is going to be the one to ask for a repeat performance… sounds like a good idea but it really isn’t; being passive never works. So you suck it up, gird your loins, and ask Misty if she wants to be intimate with you again and then deal with whatever her answer will be.

    You’re damned right: The answer is always no if you never ask in the first place or, as I love saying, if you don’t know, you better ask somebody!

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    • Well, it’s kind of hard to ask if we don’t talk much. Lunch lasted a whole 30 minutes. I’m not going to pursue her. If she wants more contact, she needs to ask. I’m not desperate, and don’t want to be the one chasing.

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      • I wouldn’t do that… but that’s me. And, if I remember correctly, can’t you text her? Sometimes, my friend, being “bold” works; it also teaches you some necessary things about this and being “stubborn” usually will get you nothing. Yeah, we tend to think that if they really want to do it with us again, well, they can ask so we don’t look like we’re chasing them… but we don’t think about the fact they’re thinking the same thing: If you want to do it again, you’ll ask.

        Stalemate. I wouldn’t be aggressive but I would be assertive, set my “pride” aside, and break the stalemate and ask… and because I want to do it with them again and, no, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do it again, badly or otherwise.

        If she says no, it is what it is; you can’t make her do it and as much as you may want to do it with her again, begging for it is out of the question even though, as it is said, you always give a lady a chance to say no… then change her mind.

        If you want it, go get it.

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      • Oh, yeah, this is not about being or appearing to be desperate – this is about knowing what you want and being assertive or even bold enough to ask her for what you want.

        So get that desperation crap out of your head…

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      • Okay, sure, and all that means is you gotta put up with some shit to get what you want and that’s no different than what anyone has to go through to have sex with someone.

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      • Well, right now, I’m not willing to put much effort into it. I drove 20 miles one way for a 30 minute lunch. It was my mistake for not asking when she had to be at work, but she should have mentioned it. She’s not very considerate, and that annoys me.

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