My second first time

I was just reading some of my old posts. I kept saying I couldn’t/wouldn’t have any experience with a woman. Well, guess what? I had my first experience last week. It was pretty unexpected. It was fun, and I enjoyed it. And my husband knows about it. Our marriage didn’t fall apart because I was with a woman.

I’m not sure if this means we have an open marriage now, or if this is polyamory. It is what it is. My husband is a strong man. He allowed me to be who I am. He let me explore without putting me on a guilt trip.

I have done alot of damage to our marriage, but we’ve survived. He seems to be ok with what happened. I wasn’t planning on it, or expecting it, but when the opportunity was there, I took it. I’m glad we talked about it way before it actually happened. He does not want to share me, but he doesn’t want to deny me something that I crave.

I got to do something I’ve wanted to do since I was ten years old. I got to play with breasts what weren’t my own. Seems like a simple thing, but it was a big deal for me. I liked it, and I want to do it again. I may not be able to, and it’s alright if I don’t get the chance again. I got to do it at least once.

I made a woman orgasm. I got her off. I made her squirt. Not bad for a first try. I asked her why she decided to do that with me. She said because she wanted me to have some experience that I wanted to have. I’m sure she didn’t mind the orgasm.

I am 48 years old. I only came out as bisexual last year. I had my first same sex, sexual experience. It felt natural. I didn’t feel like I was doing something unnatural, or “wrong”. I wasn’t cheating, because I had permission from my husband.

I’ve talked to other bisexual women who are married to men. They wish they had that kind of opportunity. I honestly never expected anything to happen. I’m not going to lie, and say that I didn’t wish something would occur. Because I wasn’t expecting it, I didn’t have the opportunity to stress about it, or over think it. It just happened.

I wish my first time could have been with someone I loved, but that wasn’t possible. But on the other hand, because it was casual, I am not allowed to over think it. I don’t get the chance to wonder “what it”. I got a woman off on our second date. A good time was had be all. I’ve never had a problem separating sex from love. Sex doesn’t require love to occur.

Sex with love is an awesome and special privilege. But it’s a rare occurrence. No emotional bond makes it easier to experience it, and move on. I’m not going to be heartbroken if I don’t get the chance to do it again. I’ll be disappointed, no doubt about that. But I won’t devastated.

I hooked up with another woman. It was incredible. I enjoyed it. I want to do it again, but I will live if it doesn’t happen. I am a married, bisexual woman. But I had my second first time. I got to experience something I only imagined. And to be honest, I was not disappointed.

Religion, and society tells us that you can only have one person of the opposite sex for the rest of your life. My heart tells me that I don’t need their rules. I have a wonderful man as a husband. I love him dearly. But he is not a woman, and he has let me have the experience of being with one.

My second first time was better than losing my virginity. They have things in common. They both happened on a summer night in August. Both times were in vehicles. And they both happened with someone I liked, but didn’t love. But this time…I enjoyed it. This time, I was turned on. This time, my focus was on what was happening, and not the lightning in the sky.

My second first time was fun. I liked it. I’m grateful Misty decided she wanted to let me have that experience. I’m hoping she wants to do more. I want it, but I’m fine if it doesn’t happen. Life is so weird, yet so full of unexpected things. I got to play with boobs, that is a major bonus for me. 🙂


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