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Friends with a twist

It’s funny how you can be so wrapped up in your emotions for someone else, and then one day, you just aren’t anymore. You go from being in love with someone, to just accepting that they’re a friend you happen to love.

It brings a sense a of relief. You aren’t all obsessed with them anymore. But it also brings a touch of sadness. There was something magical about being in love with them.

There is no more jealousy. No more envying their partner. There is no more checking on them constantly. You just happen to be friends with a twist. And that twist is that at one time, you were in love with them.

I’m not a flaky person. I don’t fall in love with every person I talk to. But I’ve fallen in love three times. And fallen out of love twice. I will always love them, but the romantic nonsense is gone.

It’s honestly a relief to let go. It’s a relief to know that my feelings are centered on my husband again. I never quit loving him, but it’s nice to know that no one else is coming between us anymore because I couldn’t control my feelings.

I know I’ve said before that I wasn’t in love, and I thought I meant it then. But this time, I know for sure that things have changed. I know that I can live without those feelings. I know that I accept the changes. In all honesty, that saying, “When you choose to ignore someone, you’re teaching them to live without you” is so true.

Absence doesn’t make the heart grew fonder. It just makes it easier to live without them. It makes it easier to accept that there is no happy ending, That your heart may hurt, but that you will survive.

There is sadness with that knowledge. A part of you misses that giddy feeling. You miss the little surge of excitement when they appeared. What is left, is the smile that appears on your face when you think about them unexpectedly. But the thoughts, and the smiles appear less often every day.

Do I regret falling in love with them? Not at all. It taught me things that I needed to know. And one of those is learning to let go of things. I’m a better person for having loved them.

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