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My comfort zone

One of my biggest regrets in life is that I didn’t explore more. I grew up in Miami, Florida. It’s a fascinating city, but I never ventured out into it much. And I regret that now.

I didn’t get my license until I was 20. Before that, I had to depend on rides, walking or taking the bus. I didn’t stray far from my comfort zone. It’s very limiting when you don’t go out of a ten mile radius.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become even more withdrawn, and introverted. For a while, I had a problem with agoraphobia. I wouldn’t leave home except to walk the dog, or if I was with David. Thankfully, that isn’t a problem anymore.

Sometimes I feel like I’m confined to my house, and just have to get out. That was part of the reason I decided to drive to the beach last week. Just to prove to myself that I can do it.

Sometimes I wish I was more extroverted, and fearless. But that isn’t me. I am a homebody. I stick close to home most of the time. It doesn’t help that I’ve become more paranoid as I’ve gotten older. I know someone who got severely beaten up at the mall. I have known people who were murdered. Hell, I even knew a murderer.

I know that I can’t live in fear, but I’m just hyper aware of what can happen. So my comfort zone is small. I still don’t get out much, and explore. That’s just my nature, I suppose.

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One thought on “My comfort zone

  1. Even though shit can happen, does it make sense to just stay in your box and let your fears – real or imagined – keep you there… when you’re finding out that you need to get out of that tightly closed box?

    Just saying; you know that I know what the deal is and I understand… but if you want to get out of the box, make yourself a box cutter and get out the box you put yourself into. Just because you’re in there doesn’t mean you have to stay in there.

    Like

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