One of my biggest regrets in life is that I didn’t explore more. I grew up in Miami, Florida. It’s a fascinating city, but I never ventured out into it much. And I regret that now.
I didn’t get my license until I was 20. Before that, I had to depend on rides, walking or taking the bus. I didn’t stray far from my comfort zone. It’s very limiting when you don’t go out of a ten mile radius.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become even more withdrawn, and introverted. For a while, I had a problem with agoraphobia. I wouldn’t leave home except to walk the dog, or if I was with David. Thankfully, that isn’t a problem anymore.
Sometimes I feel like I’m confined to my house, and just have to get out. That was part of the reason I decided to drive to the beach last week. Just to prove to myself that I can do it.
Sometimes I wish I was more extroverted, and fearless. But that isn’t me. I am a homebody. I stick close to home most of the time. It doesn’t help that I’ve become more paranoid as I’ve gotten older. I know someone who got severely beaten up at the mall. I have known people who were murdered. Hell, I even knew a murderer.
I know that I can’t live in fear, but I’m just hyper aware of what can happen. So my comfort zone is small. I still don’t get out much, and explore. That’s just my nature, I suppose.