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Trust the journey

Two years ago, I started talking to a guy on Twitter. I had no idea those innocent conversations would change my life, and his too. I didn’t know you could fall in love when you were already in love with someone else.

I’ve learned a lot in these two years. I learned that the heart has a limitless capacity for love. I learned that you can love, but at a distance. I have learned that sometimes, you have to learn about yourself. I learned that I had been hiding my true feelings for most of my life.

My life has been a series of steps. I needed person A to prepare me for person B. I needed B to get to me to acknowledge that I was bi. I needed to know that I was bi in order to be open to person C.

Did I need to know that I was bi for myself, or did I need to know so I could have something in common with person C? Knowing that I’m bisexual has only caused me conflicts in my life, and my marriage.

I’m trying to trust my journey. I’m trying to be a good person, but I’m not one. I don’t deliberately cause pain, but I know that I have.

I honestly don’t understand anything about my life. Why am I even here? I really don’t have a clue. I just travel down this road, and hope that I don’t hit any potholes.

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2 thoughts on “Trust the journey

  1. We should know that the road of life is filled with potholes and while we do our best to avoid them, bleh, sometimes we can’t… and now it’s all about what we’re gonna do once it happens. The very hard thing to do, I’m learning, is to travel this road without fear of what may lie ahead… but not to spend a whole lot of time excessively worrying about the last pothole we managed to hit.

    And maybe we do need to hit them so that we can better recognize them and, importantly, learn from them…

    Like

  2. We should know that the road of life is filled with potholes and while we do our best to avoid them, bleh, sometimes we can’t… and now it’s all about what we’re gonna do once it happens. The very hard thing to do, I’m learning, is to travel this road without fear of what may lie ahead… but not to spend a whole lot of time excessively worrying about the last pothole we managed to hit.

    And maybe we do need to hit them so that we can better recognize them and, importantly, learn from them…

    Like

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