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Be careful what you wish for…

Yesterday, the shit hit the fan with my husband. I came close to blowing a 22 year marriage. I was at one of the lowest points I have ever been in my life.

I said I wanted to be dead. That I didn’t want to exist. I said I wished nature had taken me out like it tried to in 1997 (I came very close to dying then)

I had to go to work. I thought about calling out, but I didn’t want to stay home thinking about things. I was at a traffic light, it turned green for me. Something told me to wait. Good thing I did, or I would have gotten my wish. This asshole blew through his red light while speeding. If I had started to turn, he would have killed me.

I’m still here. God isn’t ready for me yet. I get another chance to be with my soul mate. I get another chance to be me. But I need to be a better me.

I have no clue why I was born, or why I’m even still here. But I am. I will never achieve greatness in anything. I will never own the trappings of “success”. All I will ever do is be me. Maybe I am here for reasons that aren’t tangible. Maybe I am here for the sole purpose of being a friend to someone who needs me. I have no clue.

Be careful what you wish for. I almost got it yesterday. I could have died. But I’m still here. Life goes on.

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4 thoughts on “Be careful what you wish for…

  1. Maybe your greatness might in the fact that you did things right by loving ur husband with ur all no more games, just you who you are the great woman he loved n married

    Like

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