I had a conversation with J one time about our respective partners. My husband and I have very similar personalities, and our backgrounds are similar as well. J said that we match. And he’s right, we do.
On the other hand, J is introverted, and quiet. His girlfriend is bubbly, and outgoing. They don’t match, but they fit together like puzzle pieces. They balance each other out. They fit.
My husband and I are basically loners who are alone together. We meet up at meals, and in the bedroom. And for snuggling in the kitchen, and….
We spend most of our time at home alone in our own computer rooms (there are advantages to being child free). We yell back and forth, mostly a “Hey, I love you” type of thing. We message each other on the ipods. We do visit the other for the occasional hug and/or make out session.
It’s funny how I never feel alone when he’s home, even when I don’t actually see him for hours. But when he’s at work, and I’m home alone, I am lonely.
David and I do match, personality wise. We fit in our own way. It works for us.
J, and his girl fit in their way. He’s a loner, but her personality draws him out. She is his gateway to dealing with other people. He has to do the typical introvert thing of taking breaks away from them, but she does draw him into the mix.
She is good for him. I can see it in the shift in his attitude in the last two years. He was in a dark place when I started talking to him, now he’s happy now. It makes me smile. And I know the difference comes from her.
I think your soul mate is the person who brings out the best in you. Maybe it’s a person who matches you, and just gives you the feeling of being in a warm, comfy bed. Or maybe it’s a case of opposite attracting. Where the other person fits the empty places in your soul, and helps complete you.
They are completely different relationships, but they both work. You can’t compare/measure your relationship with someone elses because they’re all different. My husband and I match. I think we were made for each other. J & his girl just fit, she adds light to his world, and he grounds her.
What works for someone else won’t necessarily work for you. Find your own common ground. And remember that there are no perfect people, and a perfect relationship doesn’t exist. You have to work together to make it last. It is work, but it’s fun too.