My husband and I drove by a counseling center today. I asked him if he thought I would benefit from counseling. He asked me what I needed it for. I guess his answer was no then.
I was talking to someone one time. I said something along the lines of needing to see a therapist. She told me that I was the most with it person she knew. I told her that she must know some pretty screwed up people.
On the other hand, I’ve had people tell me that talking to me was like therapy. And that they benefited from it. I like hearing that.
Sometimes you just need someone to point out things to you. You don’t see them for yourself. Sometimes I get told an opinion, and I snap because I don’t want to face it.. Even when I need to.
Anyway, back to the conversation with my husband. I told him that I have a non physical sex addiction. I haven’t touched anyone other than him in 22 years, but I have gotten off talking to other men. His response was that we all have flaws.
It’s not the compulsion it once was, but it has happened. I know it’s a form of cheating, and I am trying to refrain from it. But there are times when I’m weak.
We all have demons. And that is mine. Am I wrong for having done it? Yes. Is it as bad as screwing around? No. It’s basically the lesser of evils.
Do I need to see a therapist though? I’m not sure. I don’t seek partners for it. I have just taken the opportunity a few times. Is it an addiction, or a personality flaw? Or am I just a person who likes to get off?
Judge me if you want. I know I probably would if I was reading this from someone else. This has kind of made me more tolerant, and less judgmental of other people. I’m not perfect, and I don’t pretend to be. I have many flaws.
Live, and learn. Right? It’s actually kind of amusing to think of having a sex obsession, but it not being physical with another person. But then again, there are porn addictions. I watch it a few times every couple of months, but it’s not often. That doesn’t really interest me that much.
Yeah…I’m not perfect. I say I’m faithful, but it is cheating in a non physical form. I guess I’m lucky that my husband is more tolerant than he should have to be. Basically, I’m being bad, but not as bad as I could be.