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Reasons…

My life has been a series of weird events. Some of them made sense, but others don’t. I will always wonder why certain people had to enter my life, completely shake it up, then leave.

I wish I knew why some things had to happen. Why did people have to do certain things to me? Why did I have to enter their lives?

One thing has been bothering me lately. I think I let go of someone, and they reappear in my life. Why? Why torture me like that? Why make me remember that I love them?

My life has gotten back on a more even keel in the last few months. It feels like normal again. But then she shows up, just says hi, and everything is unbalanced again. Why? I wish I knew.

She will be someone I always love. She had a major impact on my life. I find myself looking at pictures of her, and missing her. She’s another person I haven’t met in the flesh, but that doesn’t matter. She will be forever be a part of my life, even if she never speaks to me again.

I accept that. It’s just the way it will be. It doesn’t make sense, but few things in life really do. She opened my eyes to so many things. She made me realize that I could just as easily love a woman as I could a man.

I’m not mooning over her. I don’t imagine life with her. I am not in love with her. But I do love her. It’s just a pure and simple love. And with that, I just want the best for her. I hope she’s happy with her wife. I wish her all the happiness she can have.

I don’t know why she shook my life up, and left. She leaves a hole in my heart. But even though her absence hurts, I am grateful I got to know her at all. She happened to me for a reason. Maybe one day I’ll fully understand, but for now, I’ll smile. She taught me things I needed to know. And, I’m glad.

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