Complex creatures

I’ve said before that I wanted a girl friend. My husband gave me permission. Then I realized that meant I would have to actively go look for one. I panicked, and basically said, “Forget it”.

You would think that being a woman, I’d have a clue what to look for, and how to go about doing it. I don’t have a clue. Men are simple. It’s easy to pick one up, and to keep them if you’re so inclined. Women are alien creatures to me. And I’m a woman!

I’m a mess. I am filled with self doubts. What kind of woman would be interested in a 47 year old (basically) virgin? On top of that, I’m bisexual, and married to a man.

I don’t understand women. I’ve had more male friends than I’ve had female friends. I never realized until recently it was because I was attracted to them, and just didn’t know how to react. Like I said, men are simple. It basically boils down to sexual attraction to them. Women are so complex.

I’ve heard the saying that women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. I’m not a man hater, men really are just not as complicated.

On top of everything, you don’t know if a woman is up for being approached by another woman. I’m so introverted, and shy that I can barely talk to anyone I don’t know. I’d be absolutely tongue-tied with someone I was attracted to.

I’ve been told to quit assuming things. That it’s quite possible a female would be attracted to me, and flirt. But my problem is that I would be so awkward, I wouldn’t know how to respond.

My husband said I could have a girlfriend, but he doesn’t want me to. In all reality, the likelihood of that happening is slim to none. He would probably never have to worry about it occurring.

I am a female, but that doesn’t mean I have a clue about how other women think. It doesn’t help that I’m bisexual either. Being attracted to both sexes is more of a hindrance than anything.

I guess I’m just going to ignore the same sex attraction, and not worry about getting a female as a girlfriend or even as a hook up. I will just leave that in the hands of fate. It’s a cop out, but I honestly don’t know how else to deal with it. It is what it is. (And I still hate that phrase)


2 thoughts on “Complex creatures

  1. Aw, you make it sound so horribly difficult! Yep, women are some strange and confusing creatures but when you’re thinking about a girlfriend, you think about what turns you on about women, from their personality to their body type – and take it from there.

    We tend to eat with our eyes so if it looks good, then we assume that it must be good but that’s not always the case; I’ve found the most amazing male and female partners among those folks who don’t exactly fit the definition of “pretty,” “cute,” or “beautiful” because while such things are nice, it’s the person’s inner beauty that can be much more attractive and desirable.

    But you, my friend, have to think about what kind of woman you’d want for a girlfriend… and then (a) seek her out or (b) find a way to let it be known that you’re looking for this kind of woman, with these attributes, and whatever else floats your boat.

    Unless you’re damned lucky, a suitable girlfriend isn’t just going to drop into your lap – but it does happen… just don’t count on it and, please, stop thinking that you’ll never find one because if you don’t try, you will never know who can be found. If you give up before you get started, well, that’s self-defeating and about as negative as it can get and that’s just wrong.

    You never know what you can do until you try; if you really want to do it, you will find a way to do it.


    • The thing is, I don’t really want to do it as much anymore. While it would be nice to know what it’s like, I don’t need to. So, leaving it to fate works for me.


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