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Freedom

There comes a point in your life when you have to decide that enough is enough. You can’t keep letting the same people hurt you over and over again.

I finally had to accept that I was a fool, and I had been played. I always knew I was being foolish, but I didn’t want to accept that I had been played. But I do now.

For over a year, every time I tried to pull away, I got pulled back in again. That won’t happen anymore. I’m done. I let go. I know I’ve said that before, but now I know it’s the truth.

It’s rather freeing. I don’t get hurt by the lack of sensitivity. I no longer expect anything, or want anything. I accept the person for who they are, rather than what I wanted them to be. I am free.

And I literally do feel free. Before I felt like I bound to something weighing me down. It doesn’t matter any more. The minute I accepted the truth, I let go. Freedom.

I get to be myself again. I get to love my husband wholeheartedly again. I get to forget all the times I felt hurt, or was made to feel unworthy. My heart is no longer torn. I don’t yearn for something I can’t have. I can’t believe that I ever did.

I get to focus on my husband, and our marriage again. I get to enjoy the wonderful man I have in my life. I get to enjoy the one who lights up my life. I get the honor of being married to a decent, honest and trustworthy man.

I could have lost all of that because I was being stupid. I believed someone I shouldn’t have. I wanted something that didn’t even exist. Now, I want what I have. I have a good life with a king, who treats me better than a queen. He treats me like a goddess. He treats me like I am the most precious thing on earth.

I am a very fortunate woman. I am married to a man who wouldn’t give up on me, or on us. He was wise, and patient.  And he waited for me to come to my senses. It took over a year, but it happened. I’m sorry he was ever hurt by my stupidity, but it made us both stronger. It made us realize what we had to lose. It made us both realize how good we do have it, and how much we wanted to hold onto it.

I was flat out stupid. I wanted something that was a fantasy. My love was real, but the situation wasn’t. I’m lucky. I learned my lesson. My life wasn’t ruined because I believed a non truth.

I’m moving on. I’m entering a new chapter in my life. I have let go of the past. I turned the page. I know there will be times when I go back, and reread those pages. But I know it’s in the past, and that’s where it will stay.

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