That click

It seems that one of my faults, is that I love too easily. It’s not something that I want to happen. I just click with someone and the next thing I know, I’m having feelings for them. Male/female, black/white, younger/older, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is the click.

I’ve only fallen in love twice. The first time with my husband, 22 years ago. He’s white, ten years older than I am, and has a very similar upbringing to mine. The second time was J. That happened two years ago. He’s black, 18 years younger, and from a very different background to mine.

And, yes, you can be in love with more than one person at a time. It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe it, I’ve experienced it. But I believe that you can’t love them equally. My husband has been the love of my life. I can’t explain how I could fall in love with someone else. He filled a need that I didn’t even know I had.

It spite of how odd/unlikely it seems, I do believe it was meant to happen. I’ve always known that in spite of loving him, we weren’t meant to be together. But that doesn’t matter, I still love him. I needed him then, and I still need him in my life. But things have changed. I think I’ve gone from being in love with him, to mainly loving him as a friend.

I have loved two women as well. I didn’t fall in love with them. But I did love them as more than friends. If that makes any sense at all. I probably could have fallen in love with either of them if they had wanted that to happen. But, neither of them did. And that’s a good thing.

But, I clicked with them too. Something about them touched something in me. Neither of them is in my life now, and I miss them. But I’ll still continue to love them for what they brought to my life.

Some people you click with. It doesn’t have to be romantic, or love. It can just be as friends. My best friend turned out to be a bisexual guy. I never would have imagined that. Life brings unexpected people into our lives. Sometimes they become good friends, and sometimes that click takes it to another level. You just have to go with the flow.


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