I am so damn tired. This year has been one bad thing after another. It’s Christmas, and I had to make the decision to put my dog to sleep. It hurts so bad to have to do that. But he can barely walk, and his left eye has practically disappeared into his head.

He was old when we adopted him. He was supposed to just be a foster dog. Yeah, right. Even though he wasn’t the beagle they said he was, I loved him anyway. We’ve had him since September of 2011. Somehow I thought we would have him longer than me have.

It’s so selfish of me, but I was sort of hoping he would pass away in his sleep. I don’t want to have to take him to get that done. I want him to die at home, knowing he’s loved.

I don’t think of my dogs as my kids, but they are family. It’s killing me to see him like this. He’s been such an awesome dog.

And to make matters worse, Abby, is showing signs of declining too. Senior dogs have so much love to give, it’s just you don’t have them around as long as you would a puppy.

My emotions are at a breaking point. I’ve lost three people out of my life I really miss, and now I have to let go of Bentley. My heart hurts. I really can’t take much more right now.

So tomorrow will be Bentley’s last day. I know we’ve given him a good life here. He’s been very well loved, and spoiled. I have to say goodbye to him. And it hurts like hell. I will miss the little guy.




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