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Cheaters

Everyone has an opinion on cheaters. “Just leave it you aren’t happy.” “Happily married people don’t cheat.” “It would never happen to me.”

I’ve got news for you. It isn’t all black and white. You can develop feelings for someone that you never would have imagined having them for.  You can fall in love, and not realize it until it’s already happened.

Also, everyone has a different opinion on what cheating is. Where does it cross the line? Does it happen when flirting starts? When you’ve said “I love you” to someone else? When the phone calls get racy? Does it happen when you want to spend time with someone else?

In my own personal experiences, I was the cause of a married man cheating (I was single). I put the temptation there, and he took it. I was wrong to do that, but I can’t change it now. But then, I fell in love with someone other than my husband. That in itself is not cheating, but my actions afterward were. It was never a physical thing, because I haven’t met him in person. But it was mentally cheating.

I should have backed away the second I realized I loved the other man. I should have said goodbye, and moved on. I didn’t do it because I couldn’t do it. I never should have given him the chance to me that he loved me, because then I had to say it back.

I got caught up in something that should have been under control, but wasn’t. My husband had no idea. I never left the house to meet this man. I didn’t stop loving, or wanting my husband. But eventually, I had to tell him. He was crushed. I betrayed him without ever touching another person.

I’m not excusing my actions. I was wrong for what I did. I couldn’t stop the emotions that happened, but I could have not done the other things.

My husband forgave me. He was able to because it wasn’t a physical thing. Other people I have talked to said they could handle if their partner slept with someone else, but not if they fell in love with someone else. I honestly don’t understand that. You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with your body.

Everything isn’t clear cut. Some people consider texting cheating, and others don’t. Some people consider falling in love cheating. Some people say phone sex is cheating. Everyone agrees that sex is cheating, but what about kissing? It’s one of those things where each individual has to decide what cheating is, and what they are willing to accept and/or forgive.

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