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Was it a premonition?

I think God has a wicked sense of humor. In my post, Bittersweet, I talked about going to MetLife Stadium to watch the Dolphins play the Jets. And how close I was to J, the guy I fell in love with online, but haven’t met in person. We left the stadium pretty late that night, and we immediately got lost. We ended up on the Parkway instead of the NJ Turnpike.

We ended up in driving around for a bit. I happened to see a street sign. We were on the street where J lives. I was that close to him. I wanted to cry, but ended up laughing instead. My husband asked why I was laughing. I had to explain myself. He was pissed.

I was so close, but it might as well been thousands of miles away. As much as I want to meet him, I can’t. Fate isn’t going to allow it. Because no matter how much I say I’m over him, there is still a temptation. I want to be able to hang out with him as friends, but that won’t be possible.

You can’t be just friends with someone you’ve fallen in love with. They will always mean more than that to you. So, I love my friend. I always will. I just won’t be able to be friends with him in person. And that makes me sad.

So, I mentioned being so close to him, and I ended up being right in his neighborhood. That will haunt me. I just want to be able to say hello to him, and just spend some time with him. That’s all. But that isn’t going to happen. Fate put him in my life, but fate won’t allow me to spend any actual time with him.

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