I don’t know which is harder, to let go in stages, or have the end come quickly and brutally without any notice. I had the brutal end recently, and it really hurt. But I think it was easier to let go that way. The letting go in stages is painful. Every day, another thread that binds us together is cut. Eventually, there won’t be anything left to hang on to.
I am so torn. Part of me wants to just say goodbye, and let him go. The other part of me doesn’t want to lose the friendship we have. But I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of wanting things I can never have. I’m tired of being made to feel like I’m not worth an effort.
I’m just tired. I have an awesome man in my life. He deserves the best, and I aim to be it. That means letting go of the extra baggage weighing me down. It is time to let go. Like that saying goes, “Quit crossing oceans for someone who wouldn’t jump a puddle for you.”
I put in an effort, but I’m done with that now. I accept things how they are, friends only. I can’t cut him out of my life, but I can quit going out of my way for him. I will give what I get, no more and no less.
We shared many smiles and laughs, but I’ve cried more tears in 18 months than I have in my entire life. I’m so over that. We’re both moving on. It is how it should be.