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Unanswered prayers

This time last year, I was kind of obsessed with meeting J. I told myself I just wanted to meet the man I fell in love with. But that wasn’t all of it. I know we probably would have sex if we had met. And by doing that, I would have ruined my marriage.

Not being able to meet him was a blessing. It would have changed my entire life. It might have changed his too. I’m grateful that didn’t happen.

I do still want to meet him some day, if he’s ever ready for it. But things are different now. It would only be just as friends. I’m not in love with him any more. The crazy attraction/desire is gone. I really did want that and him at one point, but I’m content with being friends. It’s better that way.

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