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A letter to my husband

You came into my life quietly. I don’t remember the first time I saw you. But I took notice soon after. You sat at the counter, and I was drawn to you. I started talking to you out of politeness, but stayed because I enjoyed our conversations.

I would smile when I saw you walk in. When I found out you just came from Key West, you were like a piece of home to a homesick person. Because you were in the navy, I felt a kinship to you.

I honestly don’t know when I fell in love with you. The love came softly, and unexpectedly. I think it was there the day I spent my entire break standing at the counter talking to you.

I flirted with you for months, even though I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing. And then there was the one night, on some wild impulse, I asked you if you wanted to see a movie the following night. I’m not sure who was more shocked. You because I asked you out. Or me, because you said yes.

Our first scheduled date didn’t happen. You gave me another chance, but our first two dates were disasters. For some reason, you stayed. And we’ve been together almost 22 years now.

You are my soul mate. You’re the other half to my being. I would be lost without you. I’m sorry that things have changed, and I’m not the same person I was 22 years ago. My love for you has changed as well, it has gotten stronger.

We have had our problems, and I’ve been the cause of many of them. I’m sorry I’ve caused you any grief. I can’t change who I am, but know that I love you.

When I met, then married you, I honestly had no idea I was bisexual. It has always been that way, but I just didn’t know it, and couldn’t accept it. Please understand that I can’t change it, and it isn’t a phase. And I hope you understand that just because I crave a woman’s touch, doesn’t mean that I want yours any less.

I also hope you can understand that even though I fell in love with another man, that I don’t love you any less. I didn’t know it was possible to love two people at one time, but it happened. I’m glad you haven’t forced me to choose. You know I would always choose you over anyone, but it would hurt to cut him out of my life.

I’m a very flawed person, but you’ve always treated me like I’m perfect. I have never doubted your love for me. And I’ve never doubted your loyalty. I have always known you would do anything to protect me. I can take care of myself, but it makes my heart glad to know that you will always have my back.

Thank you for being you. You aren’t my knight in shiny armor, you’re my knight in dinged up, dented armor. You have weathered many battles for me, and with me. You’re such a blessing to me. You are my strength.

In all the years we’ve been together, we’ve weathered many storms. I almost died. We moved in with your mother. We’ve survived blizzards and ice storms. We have survived together. Our marriage isn’t perfect, but it’s ours. Neither of us is perfect, but we’re perfect for each other.

I love you. Nothing has ever been simpler, or more complex. There have been times when I didn’t know if we would make it, but we’ve made it this far. I hope we have at least another 22 years together. Thank you for being my friend, my lover and my husband. ☺

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