When I talk about J, I’ve said that I believe it was meant to happen. We both needed things to happen the way they did for both of us to grow, and move on in our lives. But was it fate or destiny?
There are times when I wonder if he was my karma for being involved with a married man when I was single. If my husband was a weaker man, I could have lost my marriage over my feelings for J. Thankfully, that didn’t happen, but it was a possibility.
Was it fate that I got on Twitter, and even met J at all? In spite of all the tears and pain, I think of meeting J as Serendipity. It was an unexpected side of effect of Twitter. He makes me smile and laugh. He makes me happy. He has become a good friend, and we’ve spent many hours over the last 18 months, talking.
Was it my destiny to fall in love with J? I think it was. But it’s not in our destiny to ever be a couple. It’s kind of a weird experience to love someone so much, but to know there isn’t a future in that relationship. But we are fated to remain a pair of unlikely friends.
I think we are put in situations, and it’s like one of those “Choose your adventure” books. Your actions decide which life you will lead. It’s so weird to think that one small action can change the entire course of your life. What if I had walked out of Denny’s that night instead of asking my husband out?
It was my destiny to meet J, and it’s my fate to only have him in my life as a friend. I can live with that. Life is weird, and it’s funny. My destiny was to fall in love with a guy 18 years younger than I am. It’s pretty unbelievable, but it happened, and it’s real. The karma is that we changed each others lives.