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My soul mate

I met my husband almost 22 years ago. I met him in the fall of 1992. That year was the worst year of my life. So many bad/stupid things happened. I had an affair with a married man. (I was single) On my 25th birthday, I got a speeding ticket & a ticket for having a suspended Florida license that I had turned in when I got my Delaware one. I had a mentally disturbed person obsessed with me, and I got questioned by the police when he was found murdered. (I was in Delaware, he was killed in FL) And I went through the category 5 Hurricane Andrew, and it’s aftermath.

The only good thing that happened to me that year was that I met David. ☺ I had no idea the tall guy sitting at the counter of Denny’s would be my soul mate. I remember talking to him every chance I got. I once spent my entire break standing there just to talk to him. The funny thing, I didn’t even realize that I liked him that much. It just grew.

We talked about many different things. But one thing that did draw me to him was that he had just recently left Key West. To me that was part of south Florida, and “home” to me. I loved his sense of humor. I kind of unconsciously flirted with him for months. To me, he was a customer I happened to like.

Until that one night when I asked him out completely on impulse. I’m not sure who was more shocked. David because I asked him out, or me because he said yes. Our first date didn’t happen thanks to my stupid roommate deleting David’s messages. Our first real date started out as a disaster. Our second date was worse. But for some reason, David stuck around. And we’ve been together since January of 1993. We were married December of 1993.

We’ve had some ups and downs in our marriage, but mostly it’s been a pretty even ride. But last year, things started happening. I started to change. I did things that were previously out of character for me. I had an online affair. David had no clue until I told him. Then I managed to fall in love with someone else. And then I discovered I had an attraction to a female friend. And I finally had to admit to myself I’m bisexual.

I eventually told David about falling in love with the other person. He was justifiably angry and hurt. And he had every right to be. He would have had every right to tell me to leave. Thank God he didn’t. And he didn’t give up on me, or on us.  He dealt with the situation with more grace than I would have.

The situation became easier when the person I fell for got a girlfriend, and was moving on. I eventually moved on too, and we’re back to friends. That was a major relief for David.

I wasn’t very graceful about telling David I was bisexual. He was pretty flabbergasted. His response was that he thought it was a phase. 46 years isn’t a phase. But it took me that long to accept it. He also thought it was a choice. I think he’s beginning to understand what it does mean to be bi. And that it isn’t a choice.

Through all of the turmoil I’ve been through, and I put him through this past year, he has stuck by me. He has always had my back, and made sure I knew that he loved me. I never realized how important that was until I had someone saying they loved me, but didn’t back it up.

Because of what I have experienced this past year, I have learned to appreciate David so much more. I love him even more than I ever have. I appreciate that he is a good, honest and kind man. I appreciate that he is a hard working man, and takes care of me. I appreciate that he has never once made me feel like he didn’t love me, or that I wasn’t worthy of his love. He hasn’t judged me for all of my stupid mistakes.

I have been so blessed to have him in my life. For a while, I didn’t see that. I was blinded by other things and feelings. But God gave me my soul mate. Sometimes you have to see what someone else is not, to see what good there is in the person in front of you. It will always pain me that I hurt David by falling for someone else, but I did learn from it. I learned what an awesome man I already have.

No relationship is without troubles. Ours certainly hasn’t been trouble free. But we have both learned from things. I learned that I have a man who will always love me. I’m not worthy of that love, but I will try every day to be. Every day I get to hug the man I love, and just feel his love surrounding me.

I have fallen in love twice. The first time was 21 years ago, and it’s still going strong. The second time was last year, and lasted a matter of months. I regret the hurt it caused David, but it has made me a better person. It has made my love for David so much stronger. We all have trials by fire. Thankfully we’re made of steel, and it only strengthened us. I love my husband. He’s the best damn thing to ever happen to me.

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