I talked to another one of my sisters last night on Facebook. I asked her if she saw the post I made about coming out as a bisexual. She said I was her sister, and she loved me just the same. Then she said something about the other sister (the one who said it was the devil & I needed to get right). She said that Donna was supposed to hate the sin, not the sinner.
I was kind of floored. I told her that it wasn’t a sin to be gay. God made us this way. It is a sin to be promiscuous, but not to be the way you were born.
Why is it so hard for people to understand that it isn’t a choice? No one wants to feel like a freak. No one wants to run the risk of being rejected or shunned. No one wants the turmoil of being different.
My own husband still thinks it’s a choice. He is having a hard time accepting that I am attracted to women. He’s ok with me looking at pictures, but he can’t grasp that the attraction would mean I would want sex too.
I’m glad I have the conviction of believing that God made me this way. I know it isn’t a choice, and it can’t be changed. I have the choice to act on it or not, but the attraction alone is not a sin. I’m not going to allow someone to tell me I’m going to hell for something that is part of my DNA.
You can’t pray away the gay. There is nothing broken that needs to be healed. I don’t need to be fixed. The only thing I need to get right with is my relationship to God, and only because of other things, not about being bi. And I certainly don’t have the devil in me.
I have plenty of issues in my life, I’m too shy, I’m an introvert, I have a minor case of social anxiety, I am paranoid about several things, I’m in love with two men, and I have health issues. But I don’t have an issue with being bisexual. I’m still learning what that even means, but I don’t fight what I know is part of me.
I have been asked why I feel the need to tell people about me being bisexual. I was accused of doing it because I want attention. I tell people for the main reason that if they feel hatred for something that is a part of me and can’t be changed, I don’t want them in my life. I will not change to make someone else more comfortable. I’m comfortable in the skin I’m in. I am what I am. I’m not going to hide what is me. I won’t go around waving a rainbow flag in peoples faces, but I’m not going to stay silent either.
I’m short. I’m fat. I have brown hair and green eyes. I’m bisexual. You either accept all of me, or you don’t. I don’t waste my energy on people who hate me. I’d rather love the people who love me back.
I’m not going to change the world with my words, but maybe I can change one person’s opinion. I am going to be the strong person God made me to be. I’m going to continue to be short, fat and bisexual. Society is not going to change me. Ignorance is not going to change me. Hatred is not going to change me. I am me.