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Denial

I was making the bed with my husband. I mentioned I wanted to get a tshirt that said “I’m the rainbow sheep of the family”. He didn’t get the rainbow reference at first. He asked me why. I said, because I’m semi gay. He said no I wasn’t. That I just got turned by looking at pictures of women. Ok, yeah, what does he think the definition of gay is?

He told me I just had a healthy libido. I said, No, I am bi. We said some more things, but basically he said he doesn’t want to think about it. So apparently we have a “I didn’t ask, so don’t tell me” situation.

To be fair, I kind of hit him with this out of the blue a few months ago. I did tell him a few times in the past that women turned me on, but even I didn’t get the full meaning of that then. I hid it from myself for 46 years, so I can’t expect him to handle everything right away.

I think in his mind, he’s ok with me looking at pictures, and getting turned on. But that I would actually want to be with a woman was a bit much. I do want that, but I am married and I’m not going to cheat on him.

Anyway, I dropped the subject. He’s dealing with things the best way he can, and so am I.

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