Baby steps

I was feeling a little bit smug. That I had accepted being bisexual. Guess what, I really hadn’t completely. I’m not a lesbian, so I’m not gay. I’m attracted to men and women, so I am bisexual. I get that. What I didn’t get was that I’m not “straight”.

The second the fact that I’m not straight hit me, I literally got goosebumps. Then I started crying. In accepting a new identity/label I had to let go of the heterosexual one. Wow. I wasn’t quite ready for that, I guess.

After spending a lifetime of going with the flow, I had to stop and change directions. I’ve always been different, and I never was a mainstream person. But I never put a label on myself either. I was just me.

Now I have the label of bisexual. I’m not mainstream, but I’m not gay or queer (I really don’t like that word, sounds negative to me). I’m not “normal”. Of course, I never was normal. But now my label is bisexual, and not straight.

Acceptance comes in the form of baby steps. I guess you have to absorb things a little bit at a time. The more I learn from other peoples experiences, the more I learn about myself. This really is a process.


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